The Strange and the Charming

It’s strange, but you say: we do not die; our bodies surely rot away, but the personality within is freed to… 

a) fly up, up, into the sky, where it is given a pair of wings (not bat wings, not airplane wings, not condor wings, but the wings of a giant white dove), to lounge about on puffy clouds, playing harps

b) rise into the sky to get into a giant line, the eternal DMV, to see Saint Peter standing with list and pen like the celestial maitre ‘d (does the poor saint ever get a break? people die every minute of every day!)

c) those black and white films from your racist past showed a segregated puffy-cloud-land of the winged; the black people in heaven were granted an eternity of watermelon and fried chicken while the white people sipped mint juleps with God and watched the derby; theoretically, I don’t think the people who made that film could get into any Heaven…

d) which brings us to Hell: eternal suffering. Although eternity is a pretty big concept. It’s hard to imagine suffering forever. But it’s hard to imagine sitting on a cloud with giant dove wings and a harp forever too

e) alternately, our personalities are stuffed back into a living thing (man or animal, who can say?) and we will have no memory of our ever being alive and in a body once before, especially if we come back as a rat, but even if we come back as a man, which is really much the same

f) or perhaps our personalities will become “energy,” and we will lose our individuality, but reach self-less nirvana, ecstasy in this new form (but how do you feel ecstasy if you are no longer individual? Do you feel ecstasy, or just “eh”?)

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It’s strange, but you say: we are being watched all the time by…

a) Jesus

b) Yahweh

c) Allah

d) Aliens

e) Santa Claus

f) The Government

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It’s strange, but you say:

a) we exist for a reason

b) we exist for a reason, and I know what that reason is

c) we exist for a reason, and I know what that reason is, and the reason is to praise a God

d) we exist for a reason, and I know what that reason is, and the reason is to praise a God, and the way that we do that is by spreading stories from the bronze age

e) we exist for a reason, and I know what that reason is, and the reason is to praise a God, and the way that we do that is by spreading stories from the bronze age, and when people won’t listen, we will keep trying, but if they really won’t listen, then we will destroy them, because they are the enemies of God

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You charm me when you say:

a) love is the answer

b) our time is short, let’s make the most of it

c) act towards other people how you wish they’d act towards you

d) I don’t know

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1. Soul

2. Watch

3. Love